(48) Darkfall

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For 50 nights, the sun hasn’t disappeared below horizon. Even last night, it was still sliding just above the water surface and shining through the branches of pine trees. But further south I get, lower the sun goes, and inevitably there will be one night, when it’ll fall down too deep below the roots in the earth and all that will be left will be torturing darkness. It was one beautiful polar day, with no worries of evenings, with no burden of nights and all the problems connected with them such as cold, gloom and the necessity of hiding in any kind of accommodation. Now, I will have to learn to live with darkness…

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How I learned to be alone

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They degraded love to sex and friendship to a Facebook like. Look for your happiness in an instant world, buy yourself something, feel the happiness. Chase away feeling of hunger, stink and loneliness, look for feelings of comfort, softness and security… it is all about feelings, feelings superior to emotions. Today, I chose to sit here by lake, I have nothing and I’m alone. It is quiet, the water surface is one large mirror and only sometimes the air shivers from the deep sound of distant thunders. No one is here and no one is going to come here. I have no connection with the world for several days here in Lapland. Such bad boy… I should be flying around the town, buying drinks some girls with lipstick, entertaining people with stories and enjoy their courtesy. I don’t want it anymore, leave me in my silence, I’m fine here, alone…

Often I sat alone inside crowded London tube. Hundreds of people around me and every one of them just as alone. To be alone between masses of people, that is scary kind of loneliness. Shallow, meaningless illusion of separation in the middle of crowd. Here it

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