How I learned to be alone

They degraded love to sex and friendship to a Facebook like. Look for your happiness in an instant world, buy yourself something, feel the happiness. Chase away feeling of hunger, stink and loneliness, look for feelings of comfort, softness and security… it is all about feelings, feelings superior to emotions. Today, I chose to sit here by lake, I have nothing and I’m alone. It is quiet, the water surface is one large mirror and only sometimes the air shivers from the deep sound of distant thunders. No one is here and no one is going to come here. I have no connection with the world for several days here in Lapland. Such bad boy… I should be flying around the town, buying drinks some girls with lipstick, entertaining people with stories and enjoy their courtesy. I don’t want it anymore, leave me in my silence, I’m fine here, alone…

Often I sat alone inside crowded London tube. Hundreds of people around me and every one of them just as alone. To be alone between masses of people, that is scary kind of loneliness. Shallow, meaningless illusion of separation in the middle of crowd. Here it is quiet and there is no one around. Here, the loneliness heals, tidies up thoughts and untangles confused streams of energy into serene harmony…

…human in the city… fills every moment of his days with duties, commitments and responsibilities… the maximum he can bare and even little more. He lives by requirements of society, he never has a chance to express the true himself. Then he is confused when he finds himself in solitude, alone. I used to wander in the streets at night, when the city  was empty… after the meetings, projects and stresses, completely alone…

…and I learned… between people, being alone is tiring, gruelling and hindering…

…ego, ambitions, competitivness, they chase forever, no rest…

 …but human soul needs rest…

I’m thinking what it is going to be like back down in the south. I know they won’t make it easy for me. They’ll be luring me back to cheap average full of shiny emptiness of the successful ones. And the ego will be screaming, it wants everything, cars, women, respect, more and more, more than the one next to us. I can’t let that happen. I want to take this lake with me, but it is too big and someone would be missing it. I’ll take at least this memory with me… to remember how it is to be in silence, tranquility, alone, so that I can always come back in my mind and be myself. I’ll be nurturing my lake…

…they keep shouting from all directions… powders, contracts, loans and toothpastes, buy comfort, happiness, good partner and love. Don’t be alone, it won’t make you happy. I’m convinced it is all a bit different. In the fast times of marketing based capitalism, it is crucial for keeping ones own personality to learn how to switch everything off, sit down by imaginary lake and think undisturbed, alone. Storm is coming from Russia, I’ll better go, there is still long way ahead…